Whenever someone asks me about the bar exam, more specifically what it was like to take and prepare for, the best metaphor I can think of is a marathon. Taking the bar exam is like a mental marathon. It requires you to expand your perception of what you believe your own brain can absorb and retain. To me, it seemed like it definitely tested the theory that we only use 10% of our brains’ capacity. Preparing for the test, in my mind, equated to the training a runner does for a marathon. Gradually increasing your mileage over time, simulating the conditions of the event itself as much as possible without burning yourself out, and tricking your body into believing this is normal behavior.
So I’ve been thinking, I completed that mental marathon. Regardless of the outcome, I pushed myself mentally to a point I had no idea I could get to. I’m starting to believe that what I put myself through to get through the Bar Exam could have a greater applicability. For instance, running. Actual running. The act of running has always been daunting to me, something I told myself a long time ago I would never be good at. I resigned myself to a simple truth: I would never be a runner. I think I was wrong.
I’m not planning on running a marathon. That is nowhere in my periphery, nor on my horizon. Nor do I want it to be.
I am a consummate walker. I’m really good at walking. Seems like a weird thing to brag about I guess, but its true. Where I’ve never believed myself capable of running, I’ve always allowed myself to walk. I’ll walk 4 miles and not even realize how far I’ve come. I get lost in thought when I’m walking. Its an activity that I relish because it allows me to clear my mind, and to take in my surroundings. Obviously, walking on a treadmill does not fit within my commitment to walking. Treadmills ruin walking. The outdoors are what walking is all about. You see new places, wander a little further than you have before. It is my primary method for introducing myself to the layout of a new geographical area. Any time I move to a new city, its one of the first things I want to do. Take a walk around and get my bearings.
So for a long time I have used walking in this way. I am not abandoning walking, because I truly do still enjoy it immensely. Instead, I’m expanding my perception of what my body can handle. Slowly, I am coming to realize that the only reason I’ve never been a runner is in my head. Eventually, it may very well turn out that my mental stumbling blocks are not the only reason, but for now I’m thinking it is all in my head. Most things are.
Here’s the plan: I am going to kick my own butt. *Please take a moment to visualize, giggle, now focus 😉 * I am going to push myself mentally, and physically. I am going to apply the principles that I employed throughout the summer to my workout routine. I am going to build up to a full on run. I will still walk, but I am going to eventually do a complete run. The kind where you walk for 5 minutes to warm up, and then just run for like 45 minutes, and then spend 5-10 minutes cooling down. I actually believe I will get there. I’ve pushed myself before, and I think I can do this. That will make all the difference, the fact that for the first time I believe I can.